Bunnings Albury

Bunnings Albury

I like to shop at Bunnings Albury and walk among the rows
There’s everything that you could want, as everybody knows
From builder’s hardware, wood and nails- to paint and plants and screws
You’re sure to find it as you shop, you really just can’t lose

Men go to hide there from their wives and keep the kids at bay
They love to chat between the rows on any weekend day
The tool shop in the centre is their favourite place to be
But it’s covered in by walls and screens for extra security

But ladies please don’t feel left out among those Bunnings aisles
No need to join eHarmony, just hang around a while
The fixings aisle in number ten is where you need to be
Just look perplexed and pick your mark: “Please, can you help me?”

But my favourite place is up the back between rows fifty five and six
It’s where they put the end of lines and bits they just can’t fix
You may not need that plastic tub, that paint pot, torch or fan
But geez it’s great to get a bargain when you’re a handyman

There are many things I’d like to buy- that outdoor garden setting
A water feature (with the lion’s head) and simply not forgetting
That lovely kitchen up the back that makes mine look quite drab
But I avoid the cleaning aisle where they sell OMO, Ajax and FAB.

Last week I came to isle twenty nine to buy poison for my ceiling
I got Ratsack; Talon and Big Cheese- mice find it quite appealing
I’ll put it all up in my roof and hope the little rascals disappear
My friend says my mouse plague is my penalty for living by Albury’s weir

Customer service is always helpful and there are leaflets as a guide
And a very knowledgeable gardener where the plants are kept outside
And as I exit out the door I’m sure that there will be
The aroma of a sausage zizzle to raise money for charity

But if you’re from Wodonga and you shop at Bunnings there
And you come across the border, well, you’d better be beware
For Bunnings in Wodonga is built the wrong way round
‘Cause the builder had a bad day and the plans were upside down

So aisle one is twenty four and twenty two is three
And the plants are sitting on the side of where the wood should be
I do hope that builder didn’t build the Tax Office in our town
Or sadly all the penny-pinchers will be sitting underground!